Dear Farillio member,

On 9th April 2021, you asked our brilliant expert Carl Reader on the Go Far Fast Show:

“It feels like the business has taken over my life. I don't have time for anything else, is this normal? I worked for a company for a long time as the HR advisor and then I was made redundant two years ago and decided to freelance. I'm finding it hard to be a mum, to be a good advisor, and to find new clients. I miss how much simpler it was being an employee. I'm not sure what to do.”

And Carl said:

Be mighty always, Farillio

Transcript:

“I jokingly say in my book that the best thing about being self-employed is that you choose which 18 hours per day you work. Whilst that's a flippant joke and a flippant comment, actually, the reality is that if I look at myself I still work 18 hours a day even though I don't have to. I guess it's just in me and it's the choice that I've made. The problem is that when we start a business or even if we just start freelancing, we become so much more tied up emotionally with what we're doing and we take so much more ownership. That becomes a blurring between work and home. I've not known a business owner who can hand on heart say that they turn their phone off on a Friday at 5:00 PM and they don't think about the business until Monday at 9:00 AM. It just doesn't happen. Some people don't enjoy that and that's possibly more of an employee mindset. Some people don't actually see their work as work, they just see it as what they do. If I was to share what I do, for me I just wake up and do what I do. It's a wonderful luxury to wake up and, if the diary is clear, I just do what I want. I design my own diary. If I wanted to go away for a month without checking phones I could do it, but I couldn't actually bring myself to do this because of my emotional ties to the business. This is a longwinded way of saying that what you're feeling is (a) completely normal, and (b) I want to agree with what you alluded to, Aaron. We've all gone through some stresses over lockdown and some changes to our normal working patterns. Added to that is the fear that we've all had about our own businesses, despite the LinkedIn bravado you may see from your competitors in the HR world. The reality is that everyone has been petrified that all of their clients are going to close, the money is going to run out and the bank will turn them away. Everyone has been worried about that and I imagine this applies to even the very biggest companies. It's not an abnormal fear, but it has led to a bit of overworking across the self-employed population. I think we are now on the homestretch. We are coming back to normal so it will be easier to build our work-life balances, particularly when things open up again and you can start going out for family meals and taking your kids out shopping. That will naturally bring back some balance. However, I do think that unfortunately as a business owner, there needs to be an acceptance there is no such thing as 9 to 5, Monday to Friday anymore."

Ask your question:

If you have any questions that you'd like us to ask in a future Go Far Fast Show, send us a DM on Twitter or on LinkedIn. We'd love to hear from you!

Want more from Carl?

You can also find Carl’s answers to other questions being asked by you and your community in our Dear Farillio Expert section on our blog site, and Carl’s great guidance on business here.

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