Dear Farillio member,

On 27th April 2021, you asked our amazing expert Charlotte Armitage on the Go Far Fast Show:

“I find social media really stressful. I use it a lot for work, mostly LinkedIn, but it's so full of people winning awards and doing amazing things. I don't want to read smug posts about how great everyone else is, but they're always there. It's mentally exhausting and it makes me feel inadequate. I'm not winning awards or getting amazing sales results or joining the world's best company. At the same time, I find it really hard not to look at what people are sharing. I'm wondering whether lots of people feel this way too and we're all stuck in this really unhelpful loop?”

And Charlotte said:

Be mighty always, Farillio

Transcript:

“I think we all are. I think we are all stuck in that unhelpful loop, but this comes down to setting your own boundaries. If you go on social media and something starts to make you feel uncomfortable you have to listen to yourself and stop looking at it. It's about learning to listen to what your body and mind are telling you. Don't be overridden by this conscious desire to keep scrolling. If something makes you feel annoyed or uncomfortable then spend less time doing it. It really is about setting our own boundaries for what feels okay for us. I’ve blocked people and I’ve removed apps from my phone when I’ve found that it's become too overwhelming. A platform like LinkedIn is a business platform. People will always be posting their business successes on there because it's all about business networking and trying to build relationships with people. We need to understand that it's not all genuine, people tend to only post the best parts of their lives, especially on these types of platforms. We need to understand the layers that are underneath. It’s not going to just be ‘I've won this award’. There are all sorts of things this person's probably done to get to that point, and it wasn't necessarily easy. When you're just seeing the result it’s easy to think ‘why am I not getting there?’. You're just seeing the result and you're not seeing all the other parts that go into that.

I saw somebody post on LinkedIn the other day that they'd failed an exam and I thought it was great – not that they’d failed – but it just made me feel so good that someone felt that they could share that. I thought it’s so brave that you're willing to put that out in the public domain and that you've been open, and you've shown that it's not all perfect and it's not an easy ride. Nobody has a life like that and there are so many hurdles that people have to get through to get to where they want to go. That person could have hidden that failure and just posted when they passed eventually. Although she's posted that failure, one day she'll post she's passed and we'll have seen a journey and a trajectory.

I think that when we're looking at these platforms, we need to realise that they're not necessarily honest or a true reflection. If it's hard, and these platforms are exhausting sometimes. You just remove yourself from it. I think that's the best thing to do. Take the apps off your phone so they're not easily accessible, because you find yourself naturally just logging on. You’re into the app before you know it and you've already seen loads of things and you haven't even realised. Take the apps off your phone if it's becoming exhausting and overwhelming. Also, I think if you find it annoying that other people are doing these things it's maybe because you're not feeling fulfilled yourself. If this is bugging you think about whether you’re feeling unfulfilled and what you need to do to feel a bit better about yourself.”

Ask your question:

If you have any questions that you'd like us to ask in a future Go Far Fast Show, send us a DM on Twitter or on LinkedIn. We'd love to hear from you!

Want more from Charlotte?

You can also find Charlotte’s answers to other questions being asked by you and your community in our Dear Farillio Expert section on our blog site, and Charlotte’s great guidance on social media and mental health here. Download the full podcast here.

Please note: The contents of this blog are not tailored business advice or legal advice. This is guidance and information, which we do our best to keep current, relevant and helpful. If you need business or legal advice, please use our Speak To An Adviser service or you can get in touch via our LiveChat.